Nene Forever

I love Real Housewives. I love the Real Housewives of New York, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the Real Housewives of Orange County, the Real Housewives of New Jersey…but not the Real Housewives of DC because that was just stupid. It’s definitely a guilty pleasure that I relish. Don’t judge me. Which is my favorite bunch of housewives? The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Why? One reason. Nene Leakes.

Nene is probably the funniest person to ever grace my television screen, except maybe for Kenneth from 30 Rock, because he makes me giggle until I’m blue. I don’t know what enneagram number Nene is, but I know she is straight-up crazy. All of the best moments from the Real Housewives of Atlanta involve Nene because she creates them. She says what she wants, she yells, she cries, she isn’t afraid to tell you like it is and she’s not afraid to burn bridges. She’s the kind of woman I aspire to be. Ok, maybe not quite, I would never be on a reality TV show, but you have to admit, there’s something admirable about someone with an eccentric personality and isn’t afraid to express herself. Plus, did you see her on The New Normal? She was awesome. She totally had me in stitches and she stole the show. I could write for hours about all of the amazing things the Nene has said or done, but luckily for you I’ve compiled it down to my top 5 favorite Nene Leakes moments on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. I know you’re as excited as I am.

1) “Close ya legs to married men.” Season 1

I mean, really? First of all, this is just hilarious. I am totally on Nene’s side on this one and I’m not even really sure that they are talking about, but I don’t trust anyone who wears a wig because they claimed they had cancer, but really didn’t (I’m looking at you Kim). Also, Nene didn’t have chicken, she had lamb and shrimp. She obviously wins.

2) “I’ll toss you out the window!” Season 3

Anyone who can make Kim’s face look like that or make that many empty threats without getting a restraining order is a hero in my book.

3) “Bloop bloop bloop!” Season 3 reunion

I may have lost 3 IQ points watching that argument but I think Nene says it all here.

4) “These are my eyes…” Which season? I forget.

Why did she start talking about her eyes? I don’t even care, that was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Amen, Nene.

5) “Trump checks!” Season 4

This is for sure my favorite Nene moment. Unfortunately I couldn’t find a good clip off of YouTube, but this truly shows Nene in all of her fighting glory. At the end she storms out of the restaurant and brags about her beautiful, $50,000 teeth she bought with her Trump money. Sorry Sheree, but Nene has you beat with those teeth.

I’m sure what you gathered most from this post is that I watch a lot of TV. I do love television and if you’re one of those annoying people who says stupid things like “I don’t watch television” then we probably won’t be friends because if you can’t quote Nene Leakes quotes back to me then we have nothing in common. I also respond with this:

These are my eyes and they love watching television.

Hahn

Props to Alyssa for helping me out with this post.

Bagel Heads… Really?!

On this fine Friday I learned of a new trend sweeping Japan and I just had to share it with you because it is so disgusting and strange. Apparently, people have started injecting saline into their foreheads and then shaping the substance into “bagels.” Personally, I couldn’t watch the whole video without feeling nauseous but if you have a strong constitution, go ahead and check it out. It’s hands down one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard of. I’m all for embracing your own definition of beauty, but this goes a little far. What is the world coming to?!

Peace,
Ahn

Love of Love

One of my all-time favorite poems. Have a wonderful Wednesday!
Peace,
Ahn

Just Scootin’ By

World,

Meet Hannah.

Love,

Ahn

Mood Music Mondays

Today is the first annual (in the world of me) Mood Music Monday. It can be very easy to get the Monday blues, but I am currently on a mission to welcome as much positivity into my life as possible. This whole kick started out over the summer when I realized that you really can make a conscious effort to be happy each day. To some people who are better people than myself, this is a big “duh.” And to people who are more pessimistically oriented like me, you’re probably thinking it’s impossible. Well I’m here to tell you- as a self proclaimed “down in the dumper”- that we can all be happier! I had one especially tough week this summer and found myself in a continual state of pout on the couch in my living room. My mother, who isn’t usually lauded for her stern aggressiveness (she’s such a 2 :)), kindly told me I needed to get my ass off the couch and stop feeling sorry for myself (excuse my French). Then after she did that I think she felt bad so she took me out for coffee and bought me a book at Barnes & Noble. The book was “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin who in my estimation is a TOTAL One. I haven’t gotten through the whole thing yet, but something she wrote in one of her first chapters really stuck with me. Rubin came up with a list of Twelve Commandments that I’ll just share with you because they’re good:

1) Be Gretchen (Or Anna or Hannah or WHOEVER!)
2) Let it go
3) Act the way I want to feel
4) Do it now
5) Be polite and be fair
6) Enjoy the process
7) Spend out
8) Identify the problem
9) Lighten up
10) Do what ought to be done
11) No calculation
12) There is only love

Naturally, in my little Eight brain, I  read this and thought “Awesome! I’m gonna practice all of these things EVERY DAY!” Except then I didn’t and when I didn’t, I felt like I had failed. So she has a piece of advice for people like me, too: “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” I realized I didn’t have to do anything perfectly for it to be good. Thus, I do not have to naturally wake up in the morning feeling totally rested and energized for it to be a good day. More often than not, I tend to face Monday morning with trepidation rather than gusto so Mood Music Monday is going to be one of my steps in the right direction. One of the ways I’ve found to foster a good mood and to keep me on the path of positivity is music. It’s so easy to find a fantastic song and just let it take you on a good ole’ soulful ride. So here’s my first MMM submission- an old favorite that reminds me of my parents and makes me smile.


Peace,
Ahn

Some Country Lovin’

Anyone who knows me well knows I love country music, but I have a special fondness for old country, not necessarily the kind you hear on the Top 40 charts. While I don’t dislike the contemporary sound country singers have adopted today, there’s a certain kind of poetry, softness, and rawness that I feel is sometimes forgotten in contemporary country. My love for country, rockabilly, bluegrass, and general folk music probably started with my parents playing Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Patsy Cline, and Roy Orbison on long road trips when I was younger. It grew as I developed my own music tastes, watched “Walk the Line”, and managed to get my hands on every Johnny Cash song and album I could. Pretty soon my iTunes was filled with all of the “greats” of country music and my car was a Petit Ole Opry, which is kind of strange for a girl from the suburbs of DC, but what can you do? Honestly, it makes sense because country music is the perfect amount of angsty for an equally angsty four like me. I particularly love women country singers. Any woman who can break into a male-dominated industry and become incredibly successful through their talent and hard work is a favorite in my book. Here are some of my favorite lady country singers:

1. Patsy Cline

You gotta start with the legend. Patsy Cline was THE country singer of the ‘50s and ‘60s. Her beautiful, velvety smooth, contralto voice is breathtaking. You don’t even have to look at the track name to know that Patsy Cline is singing the song. She is simply that renowned. Not only was she famous for her voice, but she was also famous for her firecracker, no nonsense personality and her infamous and passionate relationship with her husband, Charlie Dick. Also, Patsy was DEFINITELY a 4 on the enneagram, no doubt. If you haven’t seen “Sweet Dreams” starring Jessica Lange and a very young and handsome Ed Harris, depicting Patsy’s life and career, then you pretty much haven’t lived. It’s an amazing film that shows just how amazing and human Patsy really was. Seriously, check it out.

2. Loretta Lynn

I might as well continue with Patsy’s confidante and fellow country singer, Loretta Lynn. Born desperately poor in rural, coal-mining Kentucky, Loretta Lynn married at the age of 13 and had 4 babies by the time she was 21. How insane is that? Yet, despite all of this, Loretta managed to become one of the most famous and respected singers in country music by teaching herself how to play the guitar while raising her children. She got her start by traveling around the country and pushing her singles in radio host’s hands herself. Like Patsy, she was not meant to be messed with. She was also an accidental feminist, penning a song called “The Pill”, which promoted the use of birth control and “Rated-X”, which pointed out about the double standards for men and women. Also like Patsy, she has a film which depicts her life. “Coal Miner’s Daughter” with Sissy Spacek and Tommy Lee Jones is one of my favorite movies. You might as well rent that and “Sweet Dreams” at the same time.

3. Dolly Parton

Dolly, I will always love you. I know she has big fake boobs, big fake hair, and a completely made-up face, but there is nothing fake about Dolly’s talent, voice, and genuine kindness. I know I make it sound like I’ve met Dolly, but anyone who has listened to her music can tell she has a heart of gold. Also, I follow her on Twitter, and isn’t that kind of like knowing her? She grew up poor in the mountains of Tennessee but rich in love and happiness, as told in her song “Coat of Many Colors.” Even though she has her own theme park, multiple platinum records, and countless awards to speak of, she is still humbly rooted in her background. There is no denying Dolly’s immense success and respect in the country business and she will always be one of my favorite artists.

My sister and I in front of Dolly’s tour bus in Dollywood, which was an amazing day.

4. Alison Krauss

Even though Alison is technically a contemporary country singer, this gal is all bluegrass, and I love it. She started recording for the first time at 14 years old and has been met with immense success. Her soft, lyrical voice is instantly recognizable. She is probably best known for her duet with Brad Paisley in “Whiskey Lullaby”, but her album “Every Time You Say Goodbye” is one of my favorites. An immensely diverse artist, she has worked with Yo-Yo Ma, Phish, and Sting. She was also featured prominently in the “O Brother Where Are Thou?” soundtrack and has won a record 27 Grammy Awards. At just 41 year old, Alison Krauss has already had a long and reputable career, and I can only hope it continues that way.

5. Emmylou Harris

Emmylou is without a doubt my favorite singer. I cannot even put her voice into words. As cheesy and melodramatic as it sounds, her voice just speaks to soul. Not only does she do some amazing covers (listen to her version of “The Boxer”, it will change your life) but she is an amazing song writer. She is pure folk and simplicity. I literally could just listen to Emmylou for days and when I drive from Missouri to Virginia and back again, I do. If you ever listen to just one song of Emmylou’s, listen to “Boulder to Birmingham”, it makes me cry every time. Her recent two albums are my favorite, as they feature most of her own songwriting. If you are a 4, like me, Emmylou is your woman.

Happy country music listening!
Hahn

Soul Sunday

Uh huh, you know what it is: Soul Sunday. I kind of stole this title from (gag me) Oprah. I do not especially love Oprah- I just don’t trust women who make magazines about themselves- but I have to give it to her, she has some good ideas. I kind of took Soul Sunday and made it my own. Mad props to my girl Alastair (Alex) for making this sign and posting it on my door so no one interrupted my me-time. 

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As the sign suggests, SS (as it shall be heretofore abbreviated) is my version of church. I have always said that I’m “spiritual not religious” which my dad says is BS. I just don’t have a lot of love for organized religion and especially not for evangelism. But I’m all for getting in touch with yourself and some nebulous Earth Mother. I always say that I may not believe in “God” in the traditional sense; I definitely don’t believe God is a dude with a beard (or a man at all) but I do believe in Mother Willow from Pocahontas. She’s comforting and wise. So SS is all about getting in touch with your Mother Willow. Here are the ingredients for a perfect SS:

1) Ideally it would be pouring down rain
2) Waking up around 7:45 without an alarm
3) Being the first person up in your house
4) A cup of coffee (it would be best if it were a latté but unfortunately, I’m broke as a joke- I wish it were a joke- so drip is the best I can do) in your favorite mug and a bowl of oatmeal with fresh blueberries. (Sidenote: This is my most specialist mug from Sissy- my aunt- she got it from Tiffany’s in downtown Seattle where we spent the MOST AWESOME, magical day ever sipping lattés and eating chocolate croissants at the Pike Place Market and walking around the city in 70 degree weather after spending a night in a cool hotel. So anyway, this adorable mug is a memento from our perfect day together and it makes me happy every morning when I have my coffee out of it)
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5) Mood lighting- no overhead lights allowed 
6) A clean room 
7) Candles– lots and lots of them
8) Either some soft Frank Sinatra, James Taylor or Etta James (Coldplay if you’re feeling REALLY broody- that’s just not a place I like to let myself go very often) OR my personal fave, some Bach by Yo-Yo Ma. The Pride & Prejudice soundtrack is PERFECT for the occasion as well. 
9) Poetry. Some of you might be too cool for poetry. Well that sucks for you. Cuz poetry doesn’t suck. Check out Mary Oliver’s “The Journey.” It really has helped me through some hard times. Also Hafiz. Just nothing too dark or brooding, cuz Soul Sunday is all about self-acceptance and cultivating inner peace. 
10) Solitude. You can’t do SS with a friend, sorry. 
11) A journal. Mine has a van Gogh painting on the front, which I really like. I hate “journaling” so I mostly draw, collage, and tape poems or NY times articles in it) 
12) Pajamas. For the love of god, don’t even try to do SS in jeans. That will ruin everything. 
13) A comfy chair and a desk. Shout out to ma boo Clare for gifting the rolly desk chair to me (which I keep forgetting to pay for…sorry!) It really makes Soul Sunday. 
14) A good book. My current undertaking is Anna Karenina by Tolstoy. I am really loving it. I try to read a few chapters every day. 

I think that about covers it! Go ahead and give Soul Sunday a whirl; you won’t regret it!
Peace and love,

Ahn

My Chair, My Problem

I really appreciate a good chair. There’s just something supremely wonderful about curling up in a comfy chaise with a mug of tea or coffee and wasting the afternoon away on Pinterest. This is what I was excited to do this morning in the little reclining chair in our apartment. I sat down with my Sonic drink (a delicious diet vanilla coke, thank you very much), my computer, Mulan, my biff/roommate Alyssa and prepared for a relaxing Sunday. Suddenly, I realized that not only was my butt a little damp, but it also smelled strange in the general area. I started sniffing around (I have a very keen sense of smell) and noticed the offensive odor was coming from the cushion. I stuck my schnoz next to the cushion and gasped with HORROR as I realized that someone had peed on our beloved chair!

I immediately tore the cushion off of the chair and came to another appalling realization that not only had someone peed on the cushion but they had FLIPPED THE CUSHION OVER, as if we wouldn’t notice! The cushion was SOAKED with someone else’s urine. Fuming, gagging, and practically speechless, Alyssa and I began theorizing about who could have committed such an act. We ruled out ourselves (obviously), our roommates, and our friends. Sorry, but we’re not friends with tacky, disgusting, low lives who would pee on our chair and not ‘fess up about it. Everyone in our apartment and everyone we knew who could have felt comfortable enough to walk into our apartment without permission was out the night before. Finally, we came to the awful conclusion that some rando dude (no girl could have produced that much pee) broke into our apartment and released his bladder on one of our best pieces of furniture.

To whoever did this heinous act, you are a special breed of pathetic. Not only did you violate our privacy, but you ruined a special part of our living room where we have some our best roomie bonding moments. Someone is going to have to sit on the floor during Real Housewives of New Jersey tonight and that is a travesty. In the famous words of Antoine Dodson, “You don’t have to come and confess, we’re lookin’ for you, we’re gon’ find you, so you can run and tell that, homeboy.” Don’t mess with me and my chair. As of now, everyone is the enemy until we find the cushion flipping pee-er. Be scared.

The poor chair in question.

The stain isn’t visible now, but the smell is undeniable.

The chair will be avenged.

Until then,

Hahn

UPDATE: Peeing in a public or private place is a misdemeanor. I am on a witch hunt. Think before you pee.

Great Kate

Here it is! I would say it’s the most anticipated blog post of the year but that would suggest that we’ve had a blog for longer than two days and that people other than myself are looking forward to me ranting on about how much I love Kate Middleton. Whatever. Let me just start by saying I don’t know what it is about me or her or whatever God made me love her so dearly, but I REALLY. REALLY. LOVE. HER. Like it’s kind of on a messed up scale. It could be because I remember taking long drives home from my grandparents’ house on Sunday nights when I was little and when I would sit in the back seat of the car fantasizing about my future life as the wife of Prince William. I would call him Wills and make him cereal in the mornings (do Royals eat cereal or do they dine strictly on guinea fowl?) and he would surprise me with weekend trips to Ireland. I was a pretty practical 6th grader. So obviously when it turned out that he had set his sights on another woman, I directed my affections toward her. If SOMEONE had to have him and that someone wasn’t going to be me, the least I could do was stalk her. (Kate Middleton: If by some twist of fate you read my blog, I don’t stalk you, I just made all this up to get your attention and I really think we should be friends. K, text me). All this ranting leads me to what I can only say will be the best blog post ever: my top 10 favorite Kate Middleton outfits. Here goes peeps.

#10) Here is one of my favorite K-Mid looks- It looks a little boyish which I kind of love (Hahn agrees) and she looks awesome in anything by Alexander McQueen. This photo was from their tour of Canada. You best believe I was on WhatKateWore.com errday of that tour…

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#9) Another awesome dress by McQueen. Kate just looks lovely here. DUH

#8) I also remember the day I saw this dress on WhatKateWore.com (check dat blog out, it’s the bomb). I hope my former boss doesn’t read this because I’m pretty sure I was at work… Whatever, duty calls. This dress is by Jenny Packham (one of Kate’s faves and I have to agree). I really like seeing Kate is cool colors like this. Perfect choice yet again.

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If you would ask any of my friends they would say that I am pretty un-athletic. I often tell my friends that I don’t run, because I know I look like this:

Just not attractive.

However, against my better judgement, I signed up to be on my sorority’s softball intramural team (the B-team of course, let’s not get crazy here). I’m trying new things this semester. I even signed up to be on a fantasy football league. Do I know anything about football? I know that they run a lot and I don’t do that. Also, why is it called a fantasy? Can Princess Peach be on my team? She has a cool throwing power in Mario-Kart.

Anyway, last night was our first game and I was mostly excited, but also terrified. I hadn’t played softball since middle school and I was mediocre at best. The ball hit me in the face once and now I flinch whenever it comes near me.

Luckily, everyone else on the team were mediocre as well (sorry guys but it’s true) but we had a ton of fun! There was a lot of laughing, dropping of the ball, striking out, and screaming as the ball came our way. It was fantastic. I even got a hit! The short-stop caught it, but it was still noteworthy.

Someone had to tell me the glove goes on my hand, but I was just so excited to play.

Our beautiful cheerleaders from the A-team, Audrey and Alex!

I insisted that everyone called me Sporty Spice, but nobody did.

I’m excited to see what this season has to offer. We lost our first game but I know that we can only get better. I think I will continue with this”trying new things” streak and if someone could help me out with the fantasy football thing I would be eternally grateful.

Love,
Sporty Spice (Hahn)

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